The Purity Myth How America’s Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti

This post has 19 comments with rating of 3.7/519

• 
  Brillo
  April 23rd, 2023
  

  Based on the abstract as written above, the author is either abysmally (or intentionally) ignorant of all the psychological and social science publications that clearly show that, whether you call it immoral or not, having sexual relations outside of a permanent commitment (a.k.a. marriage) is the single largest factor for divorce after marriage and the destruction of the family. Totally setting aside all arguments predicated on religion or morality, it’s been shown that such behavior is the greatest component in the disintegration of American society and culture. This makes the author an obvious part of the problem, not the solution.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  jeffrey2
  April 23rd, 2023
  

  @Brillo
  can you flesh that out a bit please.
  As I interpret it the author is discussing sexual relations before/without marriage.
  I interpret your statement about “the single largest factor for divorce after marriage and the destruction of the family.” to have a context of sexual relations with someone other than the spouse DURING A MARRIAGE.

  Like you I have not read the book, and am only going on the abstract.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  Brillo
  April 23rd, 2023
  

  jeffrey2,

  Actually, I see the the differentiation between sexual activity before or after marriage as somewhat of a distinction without a difference (almost).

  It is of serious consequence that studies show that such promiscuity after marriage is considerably more destructive, re. the family. If there is sexual activity outside of a permanent committed relationship, i.e., before marriage, it is a very strong presage to such activity afterward. Some of the more recent studies (the last 10 to 20 years) have shown that, for especially women, the act of sexual intercourse is likely the most powerful adjunct to establishing emotionally permanent ties with the man. Once that has happened *the first time*, succeeding relationships are not nearly as strong, and greatly contribute to the ease of future breakup in the marriage. That’s why the current fad of a “body count” is so immensely destructive to any close, permanent relationships, and makes humanity closer to the sexual ideologies of sub-human primates and other animals — although there are some species of animals that are hard-wired to permanent relationships, as is humanity. But the latter has the selective “intelligence” (or lack thereof) to override that wiring.

  And thank you for your respectful response. I typically don’t respond to the acerbic, gut-level crap that comes from emotions rather than fact and intellect, which seems to have become the standard today with people who cannot reason from obvious cause-to-effect, but insist on acting like dogs who’ve had their meals snatched away.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  grond2
  April 23rd, 2023
  

  Yep…nothing like a well-used woman or man to prove just how much a permanent commitment means to them. Of all the regrets of my youth, sleeping with multiple, casual partners is high on that list. Thankfully, it hasn’t affected my marriage, but it could have damaged me towards a life-long commitment.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  howlafist
  April 23rd, 2023
  

  The “end game” of purity culture is honour killing, child marriage, and genital mutilation. Thankfully the first is no longer commonplace in the United States, but the latter two still are practiced and have unabashed proponents.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  jeffrey2
  April 23rd, 2023
  

  @Brillo

  Thanks.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  Unground-0
  April 23rd, 2023
  

  Tillich thought that USA was a Democratic Conformist society.Calvinism v. Neoliberalism.They can’t square the circle.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  brassy
  April 23rd, 2023
  

  Any human being who refers to “body count” is automatically disqualified from dispensing relationship advice. Marriage is not a game and those who endeavor to succeed at it must abandon the such locker room concepts as keeping s ire.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  jsynapses
  April 23rd, 2023
  

  Follow the science: data shows the more guys a woman has before marriage, the shorter the marriage.

  “the “end game” of purity culture is honour killing, child marriage, and genital mutilation”

  But we don’t do that.

  The nuclear family should be the end goal of a healthy society.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  Brillo
  April 23rd, 2023
  

  The idea that the “‘end game’ of the purity culture is honor killing, child marriage and genital mutilation” is an imaginary causal relationship that simply does not exist.

  That some factions of the Muslim culture have practiced such things no more creates a viable link between those ideologies than there is between drinking a glass of water and any statistical relationship with drowning. The only thing they have in common is water.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  AndyBook
  April 23rd, 2023
  

  Does America have an obsession with virginity? I thought the opposite; obsession with losing virginity as soon as possible. Virginity is a stigma.

  Like saying there’s an obsession with good grades. The culture is upside down, immorality is moral?

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  jsynapses
  April 24th, 2023
  

  AndyBook, I think you’re right!

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  Malachie520
  April 24th, 2023
  

  Men will always fear sexually-empowered women. They won’t ever be able to not think about how they compare with her other partners and a woman with a basis-for-comparison can make better choices, including staying with the guy she starts a family with.

  The idea of the nuclear family is relatively new. ‘It takes a village’ is a saying for a reason. Further, a sexually-empowered woman is not beholden to a man for a successful and fulfilling life. When she chooses to begin a family, it’s not because that is what she is ’supposed’ to do (or required to do if she doesn’t want to single-handedly destroy the country) but because she’s met that time in her life where a family makes sense on her terms, not the jagoff impregnating her. It isn’t hard to have a monogamous relationship for men or women (and all those in-between); it does take work and a lot of effort. No one is entitled to someone’s unfailing faithfulness if they aren’t satisfying their own part of the bargain. Great partnerships have even come about when marriage was not a part of the equation.

  Blame women about failing society all you want, but they are still statistically more likely to be murdered by their jaded partner than he is when he’s caught cheating. Lately, unfortunately, they also have a habit of killing their children as well as the mother.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  Malachie520
  April 24th, 2023
  

  @AndyBook It’s actually a lot more insidious than that. Virginity carries a stigma as the media’s obsession with sex (sex sells, after all) makes it seem like waiting for when the time is right is the ultimate sin. But when a girl falls for the lie, she finds that the stigma she thought was virginity is nothing compared to the vitriol she’ll experience NOT being a virgin. She is complicit and responsible for destroying family and America (as you see from the comments above). And lest you say that it’s because of men that she is slut-shamed, that would not be accurate at all. Women judge just as harshly as men, just differently. It’s sad and something that is rarely understood in adolescence.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  rivatej428
  April 24th, 2023
  

  

  You want a great argument in favor of abstinence? Teenage boys. Irresponsible scumbags. Boom! Debate over.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  tenbenson
  April 24th, 2023
  

  You want a great argument in favor of abstinence?

  Everybody on this thread

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  jsynapses
  April 24th, 2023
  

  “the idea of the nuclear family is relatively new. ‘It takes a village’ is a saying for a reason.”

  We’re not Africans.

  a 3 generation household has been the norm.

  “You want a great argument in favor of abstinence? Teenage boys.”

  True dat and I was one! I can never understand teachers having sex with 14 year olds. It grosses my wife out and rightly so.

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  rasenrot
  September 14th, 2023
  

  

  sorry about the haters, keep up the good work

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti
• 
  darthwars
  December 13th, 2024
  

  

  thank you for this upload! pls seed

  The Purity Myth How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women - Jessica Valenti

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