All the Pretty Monsters - Complete Series - Kristy Cunning

Written by Kristy Cunning
Read by Shaun Grindell, Melissa Moran
Format: MP3

Gypsy Blood:

I’m not all that special, really. I’m sure there are a lot of girls with old gypsy blood who see the dead, have killer cults hunting their family, and turn into something that gets scary when they panic. Yep. I’m just an ordinary girl. I wish people would believe that.

I’ve been labeled as one thing or another for most of my life: Death Girl. Crazy Gypsy Girl. Gothic Chick. Monster.

It took my mother’s death for me to finally start getting answers about what’s really been going on. Unfortunately, most of the answers come from men . . . who aren’t just men. Somehow, I’ve gone and landed myself in a world truly filled with monsters, and I’m starting to think this is where I should have been all along.

Only . . . I don’t understand what’s going on. I’m walking into the middle of a story that’s thousands of years old, and I’m the new girl on the block who doesn’t have a clue how this world even works. My only guides happen to be the most lethal of the bunch.

I’ve gone and drawn attention to myself, and the ones paying attention are the ones everyone else seems to fear. How do these things always happen to me?

Gypsy Freak:

What’s it like to be a monster in a town full of monsters, who don’t know you’re a monster? Complicated and a little scary, but doable.

What’s it like to be the girl who can’t die - that everyone seems to always want to kill? Frustrating as hell.

What’s it like to accidentally raise a psychotic alpha vampire everyone fears, who drops a lot of bodies on his first day out as a gift for your troubles? Terrifying, if I’m being honest.

What’s it like when that crazed vampire tells you he wants you to be the happy little intermission, during an ongoing ancient story, and expects you to use your vagina to draw in a werewolf alpha, a Van Helsing alpha, and a sexual deviant alpha, so he can have his old friends back? That’s when a girl has to stop, look around, and question her life choices.

I really don’t know how this stuff keeps happening to me. Life was simpler when it was just me accidentally blowing myself up while trying to create potions and shampoo. Ever since coming to this town, I’ve had my throat slit by vampires, attracted way too much attention from some powerful alphas, and did a lot of regrettably stupid things because I’m too gullible for shady monsters.

Gypsy Origins:

I’m like a snowball rolling downhill.

That’s the first thing that pops into my mind when I try to explain my life. I don’t know exactly “what’”I am, but I do know who I am. At least…I did.

Sometimes life sends things your way that upend everything you thought you knew, and then slings you in another direction without any sort of harness or warning.

Sometimes it drops someone like me off in the path of four wildly different monsters, who all used to be best friends, but now sort of hate each other and compete over absolutely everything, including…me.

Life would be easier if I wasn’t already attached to those four monsters, but they occasionally let their guard down around me, and I get a glimpse of what has to stay hidden under all those snowball layers, since they already rolled downhill a long time ago.

I’m tired of losing people I care about. I’m tired of searching aimlessly for answers. I’m tired of not having the right questions to ask.

Gypsy Moon:

Imagine searching your whole life for answers, and then finally finding them. A part of you is excited to know the truth. Another part of you is damaged, because you realize why it was so hard to learn answers.

Secrets aren’t usually very pretty.

In the midst of all of it, the four monsters I’ve gotten too attached to are about to be reunited with the one woman they all once loved so deeply that they sacrificed everything to have an eternity with her.

They said they hated Arion, but I never see hatred when they’re around him. I see frustration, resentment, anger, and pain, but never hatred.

They say they hate Idun, but until she returns, I won’t know how true that really is. All the pretty monsters don’t have simple emotions, because everyone has lived so long that it’s gotten entirely too complicated to feel anything too much.

The only way to figure out what happens next is to stop stalling and start doing, while silently hoping it doesn’t cost me everything I never knew I wanted…until it landed in my lap.

My life sucks so hard sometimes.

Gypsy Rising:

“Sing, gypsies, sing of your lies….”

That old song plays in my head as the world turns around me faster than it has ever turned. Monsters and mayhem. That’s become my life. Fear and apprehension. That’s become the normal for those around me. Dread and distraction. That’s what has interrupted my own personal romance story with my mon-star quad. Vengeance and retribution. That was the theme of the monster world long before I landed in it, and it’s starting to heat up more than ever.

I guess it’s time to see if I can handle being in the middle, because that’s where I’m about to put myself. My mother always did accuse me of being a masochist. I’m starting to think she must be right.

Either they love me, or they love her. I suppose it’s time to find out who wins. I don’t fight pretty, and I’m not that great at smack talk. It’s not that they’re not worth fighting for. I just don’t want to have to fight for them. Not when when I’m fighting bigger battles already. Either we’re in this together, or I’m on my own. That’s for them to decide on their own.

Let the games begin.

Gypsy Truths:

After spending the vast majority of my life lonely, I came to this town to find answers about my mother, and instead, stumbled upon a secret society full of monsters I never knew existed outside of dark tales.

Now I’ve built a sanctuary, gotten in the middle of an ages-old feud between various monster factions, and somehow ended up with an ancient, queen-like tyrant targeting me, because my life sucks sometimes.

For now, hoping for the best is all I have. Well, I guess that’s a lie too. Hope’s not all I have. I also have a Van Helsing, who can slay a small army without wrinkling his shirt. Then there’s a Morpheous, who can toy with my mind in ways I never imagined. I’ve got a wolf, who makes it a goal to keep me human-ish. And there’s a vampire, who enjoys killing and stabbing.

Ancient alphas, old vendettas, super-complicated histories, mass-death threats, and a lot of personal baggage. That’s become a Tuesday morning coffee break to me by now. Like I said, my life sucks sometimes.